Defined simply, ghosting is the act of deliberately ignoring and abandoning a person or persons indefinitely.
Defined in terms of etiquette and good taste, ghosting is crass.
Ghosting can happen in romantic relationships (the most common occurrence), professional relationships, job interview correspondences and jolly friendships.
There are at least five reasons I advise against this practice:
It is cowardly: As someone who finds it easy to put on a brave face when necessary, I find cowardice quite distasteful.
It may seem like the easy way out but ghosting is a coward’s exit out of uncomfortable circumstances.
If you cannot say the needful, try writing an email, an SMS or a letter; I am not too much of a talker myself so I express my thoughts mostly through writing.
Another reason writing may help is that it eliminates the pressure of expressing yourself face to face. Perhaps, you want to try my style?
It is costly: It is costly for the ghosted because resources will be invested when one is trying to get the attention of someone who couldn’t care less about them- money, energy, time and so on.
It is also costly for the ‘ghostee’ because this behaviour reeks of a lack of integrity and this will cause an avoidable dent on his/ her reputation sooner or later.
It is time wasting: Imagine sitting at the train station and waiting for a train that has already left.
I remember a time I was waiting to hear back from a small company after interviewing with them (It wasn’t the sort of interview where many people applied. We were less than ten that I knew of); they promised to keep me posted but suddenly went awol on me after they made up their mind. I tried reaching out but to no avail. I thought it was quite an unprofessional approach.
The pain is worse: You’ll have to agree with me that a straightforward breakup is better than abandoning an intended at the altar.
People that practice ghosting seem to think that they are taking the pain out of the situation by not saying anything and walking away without notice but this approach is one sandwich short of a picnic.
Adults that deceive children by ghosting them need to unlearn this practice because they are effectively training these children to have trust issues from a tender age and thereby corrupting their innocent minds.
Leaving someone to ‘get the message’ through ghosting is rude.
Ghosting brings shame: Fair chances exist that we’ll run into those who have been a part of our lives in the future.
Imagine the discomfort and embarrassment that a ‘ghostee’ will feel when he/ she runs into the ‘ghosted’?
Whatever you postpone will eventually be faced.
I personally think that ghosting is an ill-conceived strategy no matter where it is applied.
Squaring up may not always be easy but something must force us to make a choice eventually- integrity or the lack of it.