Confronting without being Confrontational

Confrontation is not bad.

Goodness is supposed to confront evil.

-Fred Shuttlesworth

We are bound to make mistakes and encounter the mistakes of others in life. We are also bound to encounter their shortcomings.

One effective way to address issues is by confronting them- without being confrontational.

Confrontation may seem like a controversial approach but it is crucial for three reasons:

1. The offending party may have acted or spoken out of turn due to ignorance.

2. The offending party should know what is acceptable and what is not (we all learn everyday).

3. The offending party may assume the offended is a pushover and may continue to act inappropriately if not confronted.

So how do you confront people without being confrontational?

Most people think aggression equals confrontation; this is not true or it doesn’t have to be.

There are three ways you can win a confrontation:

1.Be calm and tactful: No matter how irritated you are, avoid insults when confronting. Do not raise your voice but state your case with an even tone.

2.Make it easy for them to apologize: Put yourself in their shoes and imagine you are the one who erred, how will you like to be spoken to?

Aggressive confrontations are less likely to get an apology at the end of the day so if you hope to get an apology, leave room for it.

3.Imagine every possible outcome: No matter how civil your approach, you are not guaranteed an equally civil reaction.

It may be wise to expect the offending party to be a poor loser and throw tantrums in the process.

Whatever the outcome, apology or tantrums, hold your head high and walk away with the confidence that you’ve done the right thing the right way.