Whatever the age of your relationship, sooner or later, a time will come for you to meet potential in-laws.
It can get a little tricky if they are Yoruba- you generally want to make a good impression but your efforts can be counterproductive if you’re not so familiar with the scheme of things.
Meeting would be in-laws can be nerve-racking.
Meeting would be Yoruba in-laws however may require you to take a course.
These in-laws, especially parents, are key decision makers whose consent is very important to a swimmingly union and they culturally look out for certain things- you never know when they are taking note of your actions and inactions.
Think of this as an unconventional kind of interview and keep these 5 things in mind:
Dress to impress: Modesty is the keyword when it comes to choosing a dress.
Whether it is an Ankara outfit or an LBD, let it be about knee length and let it have at least, cap sleeves (keep the under arms tidy though).
Makeup and hair can be kept casual but chic.
Creatively play on your strengths.
Complete the look with a pair of heels- it’s always a winner.
Minimize brown-nosing: If they do not initiate a hug, keep the greeting semi-formal but respectable and warm; don’t be standoffish.
Moderation is the keyword here.
Smile moderately, curtsey moderately.
Anything more than these- hugging, using endearments and easily falling to the ground on both knees at the slightest chance may be interpreted as trying too hard.
Moreover, if there’s one time that is wrong for gift giving it’s now.
It’s like taking a gift for the interviewer- It’s sort of a political move.
Don’t refuse refreshments: Not only is this rude, it is also suspicious.
Food, in this context, is instrumental to camaraderie, getting to know more about you and creating a bond and refusing it casts doubt on your willingness to these.
Even if what you eat is little, eat something (with good table manners) and thank them for their hospitality.
Do not do chores: I repeat, do not do chores.
Debunk the rumours- as much as Yorubas place premium on domestication, it is belittling and desperate to jump on domestic chores on your first (or even tenth) visit to your potential in-laws’.
Doing chores during a first is like negotiating for the least pay during your job interview- you are shooting too low.
If they do not like you because of this, then so be it.
The Yoruba that will ask to prove your domestic skills on your first visit is the type you do not want to marry.
Prepare your resume: One thing you can be sure of is their inquisitiveness about you and all that you are.
Come prepared; show your intellectual prowess, artistic genius, social highness, business astuteness and other positive worldliness you have (remember that this is an interview session!)
Let them know what a heck of an asset you are and hopefully, you’ll be recommended for the job.