Etiquette of Friendship

 

Friendship is delightful; in time it turns strangers into sisters and makes brothers of acquaintances.

There are a number of qualities that make up great friendship.

 

It’s give and take: Like other ideal relationships, it’s a scratch-my-back-and-I’ll-scratch-yours situation.

This is an ideal symbiotic-mutual interaction. Acts of kindness should be reciprocated. Even if one can’t exactly match the spate or cost of gifts and services, there should be some effort in contributing to the friendship.

Most friendships where one is the obvious giver tend to be manipulative because ‘He who pays the piper calls the tune’.

 

It’s tolerant of correction: It’s in a friend’s place to correct in love. This doesn’t mean lording it over the other person(s).

By the same token, a person who is happy to see you goof is no friend at all. It sure will be embarrassing to see a friend you care for strutting confidently in an unflattering outfit.

Love is not blind; it is objective.

 

It’s real: There’s no room for affectedness. She knows that you buy on sale; he knows you’re living on a loan.

You can borrow her stuff or ask for his honest opinion on your plans. There’s no struggle to maintain a façade when it comes to friends. What you see is what you get.

 

It’s 50-50: It is against the etiquette of friendship that one person be the ‘centre mass’ while the other(s) act as ‘revolving electron(s)’.

The relationship where one person is idolized is not an ideal friendship. One reason why this kind of relationship is not ideal is that the dominant person who is used to the surroundings of servile friends  or yes-men is disillusioned into having a false sense of importance.

This may temporarily massage one’s ego but it doesn’t challenge one to be better ultimately.

In a fair friendship, when one person pays a visit, courtesy demands the visit is returned. A situation where a person is the ‘star’ or ‘queen’ while the other(s) is/are the ‘fan(s)’ or ‘subject(s)’ is not a friendship but an imperial system.

 

It’s not competitive: Rather, it encourages a healthy environment where inspiration can be exchanged.

A good friendship motivates and stirs up for achievement. It’s okay to cheer sincerely from the sidelines when others win.

It’s not in the spirit of true friendship to want the glory and attention all the time.

Nobody wins all medals in all competitions all the time.

Even the sun withdraws so the moon can shine.

One friend could be a music maestro; the other could be a chess master.

A person that gets close to another just so that they can ‘defeat’ and then feel good about it is not a friend but a competitor.

Friendship does not seek to ‘defeat’ neither does it gloat at the failure of others.

Even in competitions, winners are happy that they won, not that others lost.