How to woo a Nigerian Lady

 

Women are by nature, very interesting beings (blame it on monthly hormonal changes) without whom the world will be one uninteresting, non-gossiping, unfashionable, shapeless macho terrain.
What further establishes the female peculiarity is the fact that beyond the shared peculiarity of being female, each woman possesses her own uniqueness that must be separately figured out to successfully communicate with her; I mean even women don’t understand each other.
Any sincere unsuccessful wooer will tell you that there’s never a one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to wooing a woman; women are as varied as their thumb prints.

What appeals to one goose may be disdainful to another in this special species.
The following dos and don’ts may cut you the chase:

 
Don’t:
Attempt ridiculous romantic gestures
I recall with a lot of amusement an entertaining and very successful network commercial that debuted some ten years ago across Nigerian TV screens.

The rundown of the commercial was a guy calling his girl at sunrise to experience the scenic view of a rising sun thus insinuating she is the sunshine in his life.

Even though I personally loved the commercial (and would watch it over and over again), many comedians made it the butt of their jokes, warning guys everywhere not to ‘try it at home’.
On a serious note however, do not tell her the ‘blueness of her eyes reminds you of the surge of the ocean’ because they are not blue. Maybe brown or black.

Plus do not take unstrategic risks in getting her attention; not everyone can successfully pull off a romantic Hollywood scene you know.

The success of your attempts determine which one rolls- her heart or her eyes.

 

Be an egomaniac

 

Insecurity isn’t pleasant to be around; you do not have to boss her around to validate your masculinity.

Cultural influences determine their mindset but most Nigerian ladies have a balanced approach to a man’s ego issues.

A lady has a mind (and life) of her own but values your opinions nonetheless.

So possess your confidence confidently and own your manliness independently.

 

Ask her if she is domestic

If you think a domesticated lady is more suitable than an undomestic one then you should do your homework first before even talking to her.

No lady likes to be desired solely because of her domestic skills and this includes even very domestic ones so asking her if she can cook on a first date is not the best of questions.

Do:
Give her gifts

I’m sure you saw this one coming.

This is a universal approach in wooing women.

Let the gifts however be thoughtful, romantic and needful.

A set of palettes and canvases is as useless to her as salt is to Ebola if she doesn’t paint (Nigerian female painters are rare by the way) the gifts should also be well-timed and inexpensive initially so it doesn’t seem like you’re trying to buy her rather than woo her.
Cross her palms with cash or cheque regularly

This is so important, it can’t be overemphasized! It’s not enough to buy her gifts from time to time.

What if she’s as broke as the mannequin in the store- good clothes and a cheap wig to cover up a bad hair?

Forget ‘independent woman’, every girl is happy to have extra change for the weekend.

Stingy is a huge turn off.

As with other gifts, just let thoughtfulness and sincere benevolence guide the timing and measure of your investment.
Be a gentleman

A lady that doesn’t appreciate romantic gestures from a man is either dead or gay.

You know the usual things- call, compliment, pamper and serenade her.

(The above illustration of the TV commercial does not imply that Nigerian ladies aren’t romantic, they just want proof sometimes)

If you have no clue on what to do, start by writing her a small love note; you can compliment her or tell her how special she is.
Romance is a sure fire approach anytime- as long as most of it is tangible…in rectangular mint bundles*winks*
Marry her

To some western feminists, love may not necessarily translate into marriage.

Not so in Nigeria.

If you love her, there is no excuse for not putting a ring on it.

The excitement that a ring over a bended knee triggers is something like the excitement of being crowned Miss World!

 
***Disclaimer Notice: The writer is not liable for any disses received from the application of the above. You practice at your own risk.