Congeniality

Good manners are just a way of showing other people that we have respect for them
Bill Kelly

 

It would seem that generosity is a key attribute of graciousness, and indeed it is because with grace comes consideration and kindness.

Yet, for all the generosity that grace demonstrates, its very essence is defeated without the ability to gratefully and gracefully receive. I used to think it was within the boundaries of politeness to decline gifts or offers and as such, I’ll readily pass on various offers. Sometimes, this was due to an innate instinct not to inconvenience others and at other times, I thought it reflected contentment and good home training. But refusing gifts or services that are offered under sacrificial circumstances with kind motives is not a graceful thing to do. There are a number of instances when receiving is absolutely gracious.

Receiving Gifts: Giving gifts without receiving them may reflect concealed pride. Even Royals greet fans and accept all sorts of gifts from them- from awfully smelling flowers to ridiculously scrawny teddy bears. It’s not that they cannot afford the gifts, they are only demonstrating congeniality. After all, it’s the thought that counts. So you may want to keep that at the back of your mind the next time that toddler gives you a bite of her apple.

Receiving Compliments: Whether it’s about your smile, hair or personality a compliment is an acceptable praise. You needn’t feel awkward that someone’s acknowledging something nice about you as long as you appreciate it gracefully.

Receiving Help: This is perhaps the hardest to accept, probably because it reveals vulnerability but this shows an unhealthy ego that comes from independence. It’s sad that a person will rather opt for suicide than admit that they are in debt.

Receiving validates graciousness. It is characteristic of congeniality to be gracious and inflicting the pain of rejection on others just to secure pride strips one of that aura of grace. The grace of receiving does not however accept the lavish gifts and turn down the commonplace ones, it’s about accepting the thoughtfulness that motivates the gift – don’t turn down the coins and collect the notes!