The Lady Beside.



Being in power is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you are not
-Margaret Thatcher

We all know that “behind every successful man is a woman”- women particularly do not hesitate to chant this reminder and this is not surprising as the truth in the statement evidently confirms their call.

But, an equally valid claim will be, “Beside every distinguished man is a lady”.


The words ‘beside’, ‘distinguished’ and ‘lady’ absolutely alter the statement.


“Beside” is highly symbolic because it accurately describes the position the lady occupies, literally as opposed to the word ‘behind’ which is vague.


Behind a successful man could be his mother, sister, aunt, friend et cetera. But it is usually a spouse that is beside him- the place of a spouse is location-specific.

“Distinguished” is a cut above “successful” as one can be “successfully undistinguished”.


Happy is the successful, happier is the distinguished.


A distinguished man is not only successful but also polished and what more to complement him but a lady- a refined woman.

You may have observed this trend in public office holders in this part of the world(presidents, governors) who practice polygamy yet select the most refined to publicly declare as ‘first lady’.


This just goes on to tell us that the woman behind may have the responsibility of bearing children and other behind-the-scene tasks but ‘the lady beside’ is a crucial role that is socially (and sometimes politically) sensitive, thus necessitating the criteria of polish and poise.
Taking all these into account,the lady beside treats her man like a king for in his honour lies hers also- there will be no need for a first lady if there wasn’t a presidential office, neither will there be a Duchess if a Duke was not in place.


I understood this first hand watching my mum set the table in such a grand style, one may be forgiven to assume it was for a king. And it was- my dad! Lol!

The lady beside also exudes striking grace that suits her position because she has an understanding of who she is- a representative, an ambassador, an extension of an exalted figure.


She knows she is beside- exposed to equal scrutiny, criticism and praise, not shielded from the crowd, behind.

The lady beside demonstrates politeness even to subordinates and subjects, she will be less of a lady if she does otherwise.

Have you ever noticed that the Queen Of England smiles and waves always in public? The truth, you will have to agree with me here is that she cannot be happy all the time she does that- she’s human.

But she smiles all the same because it is in her job description to do so.

However, as much as the lady is beside, she knows that she is not ‘before’ because her spouse’s position is a prerequisite for hers.

Neither is she below- the possibility of this position is principally determined by her spouse’s treatment.

The accurate choice of a spouse cannot therefore be overemphasized in this matter. Someone has said: “I will know how wise you are when I see your spouse”.


Well, I couldn’t agree more.

Imagine a distinguished man has beside him an unrefined woman, she’ll effectively counter his persona.

Take for instance on the other hand,that a lady has an uncouth man to stand ‘beside’….there’s no point, there’s an equal dissonance- her ‘ladyship’ will be atrophied. You don’t cast pearls before swines.

The lady beside is fascinating because she acts as an assistant who devotedly advocates for her spouse yet not overcome with the task so much as to forget that she is an extension of his office and therefore sees the need to invest richly in herself.

The lady beside is not a simpleton in any wise, she has  remarkable social acumen.

She is a genius!


14 thoughts on “The Lady Beside.

  1. Erin Fowowe 31/05/2013 — 21:14

    This is a beautiful piece I must say. It reflects a very intelligent mind and a wonderful thinker. Qualities we find lacking in recent times. Keep this up. The world needs it

  2. Your articles are a breath of fresh air! Keep ’em coming!

  3. I completely agree with this post. Nicely thought out and written.

  4. Wow!!! Great piece. Very interesting and indisputable thoughts, communicated with such an admirable use of English. Keep it up girl….or should I say ‘lady’

  5. Lovely piece!!!

  6. Simply genius!

  7. oyewole folasade 04/06/2013 — 13:24


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